dream or thinking

People are scare to dream especially we as Malay. They create a traditional story about Mat Jenin that died because he is dreaming while completing his job. This create a significant stigma in Malay culture thus we forget to dream.

To me, I'm too affected with this story but now I really believe that this story should be remove from Malay traditional literature, and create new one, we called as Dare to Dream.

If dream is not significant, why we found it as crucial discussion to remark the beginning of the journey of Nabi Yusuf.

When I was still in my school uniform, I met SN A Samad Said at A&W. Ok, to be fair, I saw him not actually meet. He was sitting on a table with a cup of drink. He was staring at empty space and sit there for hours. I was there of course to pack meal on my way back home from my boarding school. I was amazed of what his doing, not admire but think what was actually he doing. Killing time I presumed. My conclusion at that time, he must not have anything to do, that why he can just sit there.

Now, I'm a writer myself (self proclaimed) know that, it is crucial to dream or more intellectual term, thinking. And now, I have conviction that what ever you dream, you will get it in the future. No doubt. InsyaAllah, with Allah wills.

It is about 6 years ago I wrote about compost activities in one of my short story. That story won a place in 50th commeration of Malaysia independent day organized by DBP. When I was writing that piece, I only imagine how to do it. What will be the sequence of activities involved. I also imagine the odor and the sweat to complete the task. That was my dream.

Today I have the oppurtunity to materialized that dream. Instead of imagining, I do it by myself and experience things which before only appear in my head. It took me 6 years, but still I live to see the dream come true. The bad smell I imagine in my head, is now tangible. The natural ingredient to produce natural fertilizer composted with my very eyes. The compost can be used to my plants and benefit them fairly. And the sweat, that come out from my body, taking it toll. It is easier to write then to do it.

What is more important, my friend now thinking to make it as an academic research. Beautiful isn't it? Have a dream, and witness it to come true.

How about you? I know that somehow, what ever you have now, you must dream it before. Without you know it, it is now in your hand.

I must have had dream before, that one day I walk with you side by side and watch you smile.

They said...

They said, the sweetness of living when you're fighting. Only then you will feel alive even at the end you're dead.

I said the sweetness of living when you're fighting for the ultimate truth. Because when you die, you still alive because martyr is never ever die!

I'm lucky because I meet in flesh a man saying this out loud even the whole world against him. He said, why bothered, at the end not these peoples will judge you, The Justice is.

And I'm buying.

Unlimited Energy

One day I met my long lost teacher. He is a man with wisdom, indeed a scholar. He said, "it is very crucial for us to get best education and great role model at the early stage of our life, especially during teenagers."

Definitely I will agree with him, no objection.

"You never know what they can do for you. During those days when you're younger, their saying seem don't makes any sense. But then years pass by, their words echoes in your ears. These words guide you. You follow them without any hesistation. Then you yourself will becoming a great person."

I asked him how this happen? What is actually great people can do to the young.

"At that time you're being condition. Only when you listen and believe. Their energy are enourmous. No limit no boundaries. You're actually benefitted from their energy. And you know energy cannot be destroy right?"

I nodded.

"Then, why hesitate. Go study overseas. There a lot of oppurtunity to learn from great people with the best education system."

I look at him sincerely and said, "I do not need to study abroad, I already have you as my teacher."

New Motivation

Welcome to the new year of 2012. The number seems so familiar and brings some fear. Am I a paranoid?

It been sometime I don’t update this blog, which I don’t want to make any excuses to justify. Now I’m convinced that as a human we actually don’t have any excuses. We don’t have to provide reason(s). You are a free will being, which there are only two answer either you wanted to do it or not. That will be your call and your choice.

Simple example, if you are about to read some reading material for school revision. At the same time you have your cutting edge smart phone or tablet near you. Instead of reading, you are focusing your energy to read all Facebook’s status updates or play Angry Bird. Is there anyone forcing you to do so? The answer is no.

The moment you take your smart phone and indulge with internet entertainment that is your own choice. The next day your teacher is asking for your works. You start to make excuses (helping mother to do the housework chores, have to baby sit brothers and sisters, terrible headache, etc). You are the master of your own body and soul, why blame others for things that you done.

It same goes to me. I don’t have any excuses not to write in this blog. But, at this point I do feel regret not to put my commitment. I started this blog with a very good intention. I even name this blog with other names which are BUA (Blog untuk Adik-blog for my brothers and sisters) and PUA (pesan untuk Adik - a reminder to my brothers and sisters). I’ve mentioned that eventually if it is turn to my time to leave this world, and I really don’t have any tangible materials things to give to my only little brother. If I do have, it wills not enough to make him happy.

So I make this blog, to extend my thought and feeling. Hopefully I write beneficial things for my brother to take good attention to it, contemplating and make right decision in his life. My motivation at that time was, my brother lost his father (my father too) at very young age, at 17. He was a few months to take his big exam, SPM, but fate never knows boundaries and limitation. When he lost his father at very young age, I know that he will never really know what our father looks like. He will never know that our father love him so much, and because of that he get all the attention. So I do write a lot of my father in this blog. At the end he will knows that our father is a great father. He will never die because he lives in our blood and DNA.

But the story of life never evolves in one single family. It is the story of humanity that relate to most of us. We share the same feeling and hopes. So I share with my other sisters and brothers who read this blog. Hope in some way, this blog will have meaning to others.

I have new motivation now.

Number 1. I'm going to take my English examination, so this is a part of the trainning. Rather than to write thing which is way to common (as suggested inside text books), may as well I write things which is important that touch me inside out. Things that I want to remember, meaningful and to keep the feeling. Now I know that, we can actually capture feeling between lines in writing. Really. Whenever I revisit old entries, most of the time I cried unwillingly. When I read others blogs, sometime the same things happen. Tears can't stop flowing and l'm not forcing.

Number 2. I just come accross this kind boy which say a good things in comment box. Jazakallahu khairan katsiran. This is what he said:

I'm flattered and gratefull. But that is not the biggest motivation. I'm surprised when I visit Harith blog's, he just a teenagers yet full of conscience. I wish when I'm a teenager, I have the same attitude. Then, I know I can become a better grown up. But of course, each of us have our own orbit. That suit us the best, and we should be thankful everyday. Alhamdulillah.

Number 3. Conviction. I have been introduced with this words years ago. But I never take heed. It just a word. But every word has it own weight. This word is heavy. In simple term it might define as believe and in Malay we defined it as percaya. Conviction is a fixed or firm believe. When you been convicted no one can change your decision, action, mind. You will not care for what people will say, or what ever the outcomes will be. You just convinced! I just come back from my pilgrimage for 43 days. My friends said that I've gone too long, but to me, it just only for a short while. I'm convinced that writing is essential to me. It is part of my life, I've been conditioned to become a writer even I never know if there are any people read my piece.

InsyaAllah. May Allah grant me the things I need to be consistent.

As to become as what Harith said, trying to change to become better Muslim.