Wednesday, March 31, 2010


A time ago, during my study years, I’ve been advised by my lecturers and teachers to honour myself.
I asked them, “How can I do that?”
Then they said, “Never ever cheat during your test and exam.”
Well, I take that advised literally. I struggle to maintain good result while witness my colleague cheating and telling other out loud what they are doing.
Ironically, they got excellent result during test but never in final exam. That event depressed me because I can’t ever bring good mark for my carry mark. I always comparing myself with my colleague results, how foolish I’m to be so na├»ve (square) when everybody cheats without any guilt. And yet they score with flying colours (for carry mark but never in final exam).
“Is this justice?” That was the question during that time.
But the problem is, I’m too obliging with my lecturers’ advice. At the same time I’m questioning myself is it worth it? How in the earth being truthful to our self will bring honour and respect? Despite, my friend will always praise those who scores, not those who being honest.
One day, I met with my former teacher and having a good conversation with him. Then I asked him, how we can honour our self by not cheating in exam, while other doing it with pleasure. I’m asking him about justice.
He smile and said, “Justice not always have to be materialized.”
My face puzzled. “Enlighten me, Sir.”
“Well, your teacher always knows what are you doing even though they seem don’t bother. They always know who being honest and so who is doesn’t.”
He paused which make me impatient.
“Well, teachers they know. And they also recognize their student who being honest have the same set of question without being able to get the answer. I will tell you the answer…”
He paused again which make me more intolerant.
“After the day off when they prays everyday, day in day out, at least five time a day, your teacher will stretched their palm wide and pray. They will pray to God to bless their student who being honest to themselves, to their teachers, to their friends, and give them good life here and hereafter.”
“Have they not pray to other as well?”
He smiled, “Yes they do.”
“So, what is the different?
“The day when you meet with your teacher or lecturer again maybe five or ten years later, when you greet them they will start to recall your face. When they remember, you will never want them to have remark in their heart, “Owh, this is the student who cheats in tests 5 years ago (or 10 years ago). If this happen, you know what, you are actually being cursed. Your live have been cursed by a teacher.”
“Will all teacher remember?”
“Yes, they do."
"How about for those who being sincere?"
"When they meet you, they recognised your face and witness how well you're doing right now, he will extended his prayer and said, "Oh God, pleased blessed him/her, I'm approving my knowledge to him/her. I asked you now, is this justice?”
I nodded, agree with him. Knowing that, the prayers of teachers have magical effect to their students. I simply agree. I now know why my friends are not doing well out there. I now know. And agree, justice not always have to be materialised.

Friday, March 26, 2010

People ask me, why I just don't write things that closer to my heart and my life. I said, I just don't, simply because the are a lot of sadness that resided there. And it just won't help, if my brother read and witness my broken heart, alas weaknesses inside me.
So, I decided to keep smiling, while the tear falling secretly. Yes, I have decided.
I have only one brother, my precious, which will not fail from my rememberance and dua'. He too, despite his young age, experiences the saddest experiences in our life, the loosing of our love one(s). Not one, but one by one, even we still need their accompany and advises.
I just keep praying he will not always have to stand the heartache watching things falling, but life simply not always be what we always wanted them to be.
But I can't tell him that right? I should always tell him that this life is full of hope. When the night came, it will always have a new day. When it rain, the sunshine will appear and bring along the rainbows.
But I always wanted to tell him one thing.
I will tell him to love. To always keep it in mind, in his heart. So that he will always see life in colours and soothing symphony. Even that love betrays, don't make yourself drowned. But find ways to float again and again. One day, you will find the ultimate love. Then you will thankful for what ever happen to you, because everything will be counted.
And that counting will not betray you.
Just be thankfull and redha, insyaAllah, the happiness is there.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Matching Idiom with Malay Peribahasa 2

Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder
Hanya jauhari yang mengenal manikam

photo: man and landscape, which one is the beauty :)

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Matching Idiom with Malay Peribahasa 1

It takes two to tango
Tepuk sebelah tangan tidak berbunyi

(photo: Debab's after eat, good post ey?)

Wednesday, March 10, 2010


when you are in
one's prayer

Another second

I wouldn’t mind
tears flowing
emptiness and heartache
remind that I’m alive

and have another second
to repent.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Loosing Grip

I'm loosing grip; should I ask
i. the engineer to resurface the road pavement for a better skid
ii. ask the district officer to construct a new one
or simply
iii. really need to change the tyres?